mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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