I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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