Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
