these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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