I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
