i don't like sucking hair
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
