So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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