Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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