so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
