You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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