Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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