i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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