Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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