plz talk dirty to me
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
