90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
