You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
