They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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