we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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