nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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