well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
