If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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