Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
