I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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