I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
