I wish I could teleport
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
