I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
