She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
