Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
