It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
