So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
