its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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