she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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