And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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