Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
where are you?
Hypothermia
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
