Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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