piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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