Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
