My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize