Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she smelled like a LAN party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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