we're blogging at a bar
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
