Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
