I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
