I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
