real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
