hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
