all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
