You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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