Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
