Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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