I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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