is your mom at the bar?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She bit a glass in half.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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