ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
