YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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