If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i out mim tonsoeep
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