they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
