She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
