I'm going to jail i love you
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
