Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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