I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
