honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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