OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
