You just made me feel so damn special
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize