i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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