I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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